I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately. Have you ever gotten mad at someone for not doing something that you wanted them to do even though you never expressly told them what it was that you were expecting from them?
I have a few family members, who shall remain nameless 🙂 that get upset with people because they don’t act the way that they expect them to.
Let me see if I can explain what I mean with this example.
Have you ever gotten upset with a family member or friend because they didn’t call you on your birthday or a holiday? I mean, you call them all the time to wish them a happy birthday so why aren’t they calling you?
Well, have you ever let them know how important it is to hear from them on those special days? Do they know that a quick phone call is how you feel the love from them? Honestly, they aren’t mind readers and if a phone call isn’t something that they value then why would they think that it would be important for you. Maybe they feel like a text on these days is what makes them feel special or a nice shout out on Facebook letting everyone know what they mean to you.
We are all different. We all have our own value systems. We can’t assume that other people hold the same value to certain things that you do. If you want someone to call you on a special day then let them know that you would like them to do that yearly. If you want them to bring you a muffin every time they go to your favorite coffee shop then let them know.
I know that said family members hold a lot of resentment towards others that don’t conform to what they think that they should. Honestly, life is WAY too short to hold resentments and be angry with people. Especially for things that they don’t even know that you value and wish that they were doing.
Remember, your friends and family are not mind readers. They don’t automatically know what you need or want or expect so tell them. The more we understand these concepts the less resentment we will hold on to. We have much more important things to worry about on a daily basis, like having enough energy to get up and shower and wash your hair, than to waste any spoons being angry or festering about a situation that a little communication might have circumvented.
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